


what we remember

by imposterhuman



Series: angsty post-endgame drabbles [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Endgame, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Feels, Peter Needs a Hug, Post-Endgame, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 17:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18628102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: Peter was in shock.





	what we remember

**Author's Note:**

> yep still sobbing

Peter was in shock.

 

They had won the battle, had beat Thanos and reversed the Snap, but it had cost too much. He got one hug from Tony, one smile, and then he was sobbing over his mentor’s body after he saved them all.

 

(Pepper’s arms, holding him tight as they both fell apart, didn’t feel as good as Tony’s. They were wonderful, but he wanted his _dad_. But his dad was lying dead on the ground in front of him, arms limp at his sides. There would be no more hugs.)

 

The funeral was a blur. He would’ve sworn he felt a ghostly hand on his shoulder and heard a _good job, kid_ in the wind. But it was all lost in his haze of grief, of a tainted victory. It was wrong to laugh and smile and joke about finally winning when the cost had been so high.

 

The contrast was suffocating; people celebrating and people sobbing at the lake had Peter running for the hills. There were no buildings to scale on the farm Tony built for Pepper, no skyscrapers with wind so loud it could drown out his brain. There was nowhere to hide, far above the world like there was in New York (worst of all, there was no Tony to pull him out of hiding with an absurd idea and a manic grin).

 

Peter ran anyway, no destination in mind, just _away_ . Away from Pepper and her silent strength, from Colonel Rhodes and his quiet pleading at the universe, from Happy and his red eyes. _Away_.

 

On the opposite side of the lake from where the funeral had been held, there was a single bench; simple and wooden, something Tony would never have built in a million years. Peter sat on it, waiting for his tears to make a resurgence.

 

They didn’t.

 

He was hollowed out by the pain, empty from the only crying he had done, over Tony’s body on the battlefield. Nothing felt real; Tony was going to walk out any minute blabbering about suit upgrades. He _was_.

 

(He wasn’t, Peter knew, but the illusion was comforting for the moment it lasted.)

 

There was nothing left in him to scream, to rage, to cry out. He shattered silently, alone but for memories. Tony fixing his suit, Tony patching him up, even Tony scolding him. He would have given anything for Tony to scold him right then. He was drowning in recollection, a sea of happiness becoming the worst kind of torture.

 

 _You could’ve stopped this,_ he thought viciously. _If you had been better, you could’ve saved him._

 

A soft tug to his sleeve had him snapping out of his thoughts. Morgan Stark stood in front of him, looking lost. Peter knew she didn’t understand yet, that her dad wasn’t coming home _ever_ , just that he wasn't there right then. She was too young to have to face death and Peter’s heart broke a little more.

 

“Uncle Peter?” she asked, voice hushed, reverent. “Daddy told me about you.”

 

Peter stared at her in confusion. Of all the things she could’ve said, that wasn’t what he was expecting. He didn’t know Tony had told his daughter about him, much less called him “Uncle Peter”.

 

“Uh, yeah,” he choked out. “Yeah, that’s me.”

 

Morgan beamed at him. “Daddy said I’d never meet you,” she said, hopping up onto the bench next to you. “Where were you?”

 

“I was… away,” Peter said., thinking of five years that felt like five seconds. “But I’m back now.”

 

“Daddy missed you,” she confided, kicking her legs. She was so _young_.

 

“I missed your Daddy, too,” he said softly, hands twisting in his lap. “I missed him a lot.”

 

“He told me lots of stories,” Morgan looked up at him, her child eyes seeing too much. They were Tony’s eyes on her face, and Peter had to shove down the wave of tears that realization brought him.

 

“Did he?” Peter’s voice was tight with grief, but Morgan didn’t seem to notice.

 

“He said you were the best,” she said sagely. “That you were super good and really smart. He said you helped him fight the bad people, but then you had to go away. Do you have to go away again, Uncle Peter?”

 

He shook his head, heart in his throat. “I’m not going anywhere, honey.” He stroked her hair while she thought, the brotherly gesture unconscious.

 

“I miss Daddy,” she whispered finally.

 

“I know,” Peter said, tears finally falling down his face. “I know, Morgan. I miss him too.”

 

“Can you tell me a story?” she asked, voice fragile. “Daddy tells me stories to make me feel better.”

 

Peter wiped his eyes, smiling down at the little girl. “What do you want a story about?”

 

“Tell me a story about Daddy?”

 

He cleared his throat, thinking. Morgan watched him with wide eyes, tears leaking out the corners. “Well,” he started. “Did your Daddy ever tell you how he and I met?”

 

“He said he went to your house,” she recited dutifully.

 

“Something like that,” Peter chuckled. “He gave me a heart attack, he did.”

 

Peter talked until Morgan was giggling, until he felt a little less empty. He told story after story of Tony Stark to the man’s enraptured daughter until they both felt a little less lost, a little more anchored. They’d get through this, Peter knew.

 

He walked with her back to the farmhouse when she got tired, promised her juice pops and more stories. He was determined to be the Uncle Peter that Tony thought he could be.

 

(He hoped that Tony was watching, that Tony was proud.)

 

“Goodbye, Mr. Stark,” he whispered to the wind.

 

 _Goodbye, Underoos,_ it whispered back.

 

Peter followed Morgan inside. There was no need for him to remember alone.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on tumblr (https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)
> 
> tell me what you thought!


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